


muriel the sex god

by eveningg



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Bad Flirting, Flirting, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Gender-Neutral Apprentice (The Arcana), Pick-Up Lines, Shippy if you Squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-29 00:39:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16733712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eveningg/pseuds/eveningg
Summary: asra and the apprentice teach muriel how to flirt.





	muriel the sex god

**Author's Note:**

> i just want muriel to be happy  
> also i'm not caught up on the arcana so if i see any spoilers i will boil all ur teeth  
> anyway i really appreciated all the feedback on my last fic!!! thanks so much for all the kind words <3 here's something less depressing  
> enjoy!

The sharp smell of freshly-boiled tea wafted through the shop one morning, a fresh scent that Muriel wasn't quite used to smelling. Then again, lots of things Asra and his apprentice did he hadn't gotten used to yet, despite his long history with the former. The sun was still rising, and yet Asra and his apprentice were laughing, joking amongst each other like they'd been up and awake for longer. Muriel didn't understand how they could be such morning people. The ginger tea was spicy and gave a pleasant sting as it went down. Setting the mug down, Muriel's attention dwindled to and from his friends' conversation, instead gazing around Asra's abode. The actual living area was all upstairs, and for some reason the three of them sat in the business area of the shop, which made Muriel uncomfortable at the prospect of someone walking in to see him. Asra assured him, however, that the shop was closed at the moment, and would remain closed for as long as Muriel chose to stay.

 

Another sip of the tea was enough to wake the hermit up, its piercing scent tickling his nose just short enough to make him sneeze. Setting the mug down once more, he must have had a funny look on his face, because it was enough to break the Apprentice from their conversation with Asra in favor of giving Muriel a teasing glance. Confused, Muriel asks, "What are you looking at?", which prompts the Apprentice to smile and shake their head.

 

"Just your face."  
"...What about my face?"  
With eyes gleaming with their signature mischief, as well as some feeling Muriel didn't know how to express, they reply, "It's really handsome."

 

Eyes wide, Muriel doesn't know exactly how to respond. His first thought is that they must be making fun of him, as his gaze travels from the Apprentice's unreadable expression to Asra's slight, yet amused, smile. Annoyed, he crosses his arms against his chest and fixes the Apprentice with a glare that they didn't seem to expect. "Don't do that. I'm not... in the mood."

 

"Muriel, I'm not trying to be rude," They counter earnestly, exchanging a gentle gaze with Asra. "I'm only flirting with you."

 

The tall man deflates, embarrassed. "Oh." He could feel his cheeks growing hot. Asra laughs good-naturedly, reaching out and giving Muriel a friendly pat on the shoulder. "Oh, it's alright. My apprentice here has never been very good at flirting, anyways."

 

"Hey!" That seems to fire the Apprentice up, and they turn to face Asra. "That's not what you were saying last night, you know!"

 

Muriel listens to Asra's laughter and the Apprentice's retorts with a warm feeling in his gut (and on his face). In a rare move of unguarded honesty, he uncrosses his arms in favor of resting them on the table in which the Apprentice was seated on. "It's okay. I don't really... get flirting."

 

Upon being fixed with quizzical looks from both his hosts, Muriel blushes again, quickly continuing. "I mean, I don't understand it. It's hard to tell, I guess, when people are... are flirting with me."

 

He didn't understand why anyone would even want to flirt with him, anyway. He was a gross hobo that lived in the woods with a bunch of chickens and a wolf. Asra and his Apprentice, however, seemed relatively unbothered by these drawbacks. In a matter of fact, currently Muriel could see the mischievous look working its way back onto the Apprentice's face. Oh God, what did he sign himself up for this time?

 

"So then we should teach you! Right, Asra? We should show Muriel how to flirt!"  
"W-Wait--"

"No, they're right, Muriel. You're about overdue for a lesson in romance." Muriel didn't have to look to be able to tell that Asra had the same awful expression the Apprentice had. The two of them looked like children about to throw eggs at someone's house. Sighing, Muriel figured it would be better to surrender this time and just sit and take whatever was coming to him."

 

Clearing their throat, the Apprentice starts. "An easy way to do it is by taking something about the other person that you like and making it sound really nice and poetic and stuff. For instance, if I just told Asra that I like his hair, it would be nice, but not really have any effect."

 

"I'm charmed, actually," Asra replies, almost sarcastically. The Apprentice pouts.

 

"But watch what happens if I say, oh, something like... 'Asra, your hair is like that of a dove's feather; pale and white and beautiful'."  
"Wow, I'm even more charmed. Look at me. I'm practically swooning."

 

The Apprentice pouts again and huffs, making Asra grin and Muriel even more confused. "Darling, I think you're just making it worse for our friend here," Asra tries. "Maybe we should teach him something easier? Like pick up lines, for instance."

 

"Oh my God," Muriel mutters, hating the look of excitement now that the Apprentice took on at the suggestion.

 

Asra, knowingly, smiles and looks at Muriel. "Here, I'll start. Muriel... I think I might have to call heaven. Because they've just lost one of their angels."

 

Dumbfounded, Muriel couldn't look away from Asra's eyes. He blushes, furrows his eyebrows in confusion. "And I'm supposed to be the angel, right?"  
"Hit the nail on the head."  
"This is so stupid."  
"It's stupid and it works!" The Apprentice pipes up, scooting in between Muriel and Asra to have their say. "Muriel, you try one on me. C'mon, I know you have it in you."

 

Muriel licks his lips, wracking his brain for something that made sense and wasn't a bunch of nonsensical babble. His gaze jumped between Asra and the Apprentice, before fixing onto his mug of tea. Suddenly, an idea hatched in his brain.

 

Oh God, what was he doing. This was so stupid.

 

"Uh, do you drink a lot of tea? Because you're really... uh, pret-tea."

 

Silence. Crickets. Asra looked stunned, the Apprentice looked floored. Muriel swallowed hard, struggling to explain himself.

 

"Y'know, like, pretty-"  
"Muriel, by God! That was so clever!" Their voice was proud as their arms went and wrapped around Muriel's middle in a hug. Unused to the touch, Muriel stiffened up, face hot at the praise.

 

"That was very impressive," Asra agrees, watching the embrace with soft eyes and a smile on his face. "I knew you had it in you."   
"Teach me your ways," The Apprentice exclaims,squeezing Muriel tight.

 

Muriel, red-faced, looks at Asra helplessly, but is met with only a shrug of shoulders. "I see that tea did you good," the magician counters, "you hot-tea."  
The hermit was mortified. "Asra."  
"What? You did it so seamlessly. I thought I would try."  
Pulling away, the Apprentice laughed. "Hot-tea! Like hottie! Asra, that is so bad."  
Asra, snickering, can only shake his head. "Muriel gave me the idea."  
"Yeah, blame everything on me." A ghost of a smile graces the tallest's lips as he relaxes. "At least mine was decent."

"Woah, Muriel!" The Apprentice laughs, and Asra laughs, too. The warm feeling has come back, and Muriel isn't sure what to do with it. He disliked getting sappy, but he figured it would be okay in this instance, with Asra and the Apprentice. Maybe, even, the feeling was mutual. The feeling of the Apprentice's arms wrapped around his middle lingered, reminding Muriel how starved for touch he really was, despite how he vehemently rejected it all the time.

 

Perhaps he would get more of that if he honed his flirting skills more often.


End file.
